Wednesday, March 30, 2011
WHY????
Today is one of those days I ask WHY???? Why my baby girl?? Why us and my family?? What did we do?? I am having a hard today and I am not sure why. It just hurts so much to see Jalinn go through all she has already under the age of 2. I know she is strong but why does my baby have to be so strong. I know that we are luckly to have her and what she has brought to our lives but still it hurts. I look at her all the time and wonder why us, why were we chose to be her parents. Don't get me wrong I would not change a thing but I do wonder "WHY". I am so grateful to everyone in the POLP and LP community that I have meet in person and over Facebook. If it was not or you all and my family I don't know how I would have gotten through the last year and half. It has been hard but also a enjoy to see Jalinn grow stronger and do as well is she has done.
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Kristie! I am glad I found your blog!!! I've been following you and Jalinn for a long time on FB but your blog is new to me, I will read older posts. I also have a blog for Amelia (which needs updating) www.amelialyra.blogspot.com
ReplyDeleteSometimes I also have "why"days, but less and less I have to say! Our girls grow stronger as the challenges make them this way. Why do they have to be strong you ask.... well, life is not easy, there is a lot of suffering and no one is immune to it, so what our girls are learning now is not to give up, not to worry about little stuff, even big, bad stuff.... to survive everything and first of all - to inspire others, show them that no obstacle in life is going to stop them from reaching for the stars, from achieving dreams... I see that in Amelia - things that would literally kill me - don't bother her in a long run! She lives so much in the present, there is no worrying about tomorrow or remembering yesterday's pain... There is happiness in her joy of life and will stronger than in anyone I now. This is something special. I am not saying that I would not like her to be healthy, even tall in the future. But I strongly believe that she has a purpose, a mission in life that she is has to fulfill in the body she was born into. I that was her soul's choice I believe. Who am I to question the deeper sense of it all? But I do, I always ask questions, that's a good thing. When that happens to you, days like today - remember - you are not alone, Jalinn is not alone - you have strong network of friends, you have a lot of people who understand exactly what you are going through and are willing to help or encourage you. And that is a gift which we would not have without our little precious girls.
Well said Kasia! I'm Jalinn's aunt and she is the love of my life. I wouldnt want her any other way because it wouldnt be Jalinn.
ReplyDeleteKris-I know it sucks and its ok to have bad days. But you also have to believe that Jalinn being in our lives is because of something bigger than we may ever know. Here is what I think: Its hard to teach children to be nice to everyone, even if they are "different" than them when they dont know anybody that is "different." Well Brycen (my son) is going to grow up to be the sweetest kid because he is going to know to stick up for those that are being made fun of and to be strong no matter what and if that is Jalinn's one purpose, it is purpose enough to be in my life. She is an amazing kid and she will grow up to be an amazing adult because of her parents (and because of her aunt because I'm so awesome!:)), and because of her sisters and brother and the rest of her family. She will be able to do ANYTHING she wants to because she is going to have the strength to fight for what she wants. I love you and your entire family. My life wouldnt be the same without all four of your kids. Remember the day I didnt know if I wanted to be a mom because I wanted to be the aunt that goes to everything?! That's because I love your kids more than anything in this world. No matter what they look like, no matter how tall they are or who they become, I will forever be here for them and you!
KRISTIE,
ReplyDeleteRead Psalm 139! God knew exactly what she was going to turn out like! He knew and He doesn't make mistakes! He knew you would be the perfect mother to His precious princess!
Love you cousin,
Angie
Kristie! First let me say that Jalinn is so beautiful! I absolutely love the flower headband! Those pics that u posted r absolutely precious. Now that being said......let me say that when I first found out about Lyla at 36 weeks pregnant I was completely devastated! For four days I was in a very dark place, a place I don't even like to think about or ever want to revisit again! Before this news I thought my life was completely perfect. I had the dream life and I felt completely blessed with everything I had. When u get the news that your child will be born different it changes everything. I too kept asking WHY? Why is this happening to us? I kept reading about all the medical problems children with Achondroplasia have and I completely freaked out! I thought about my other daughter Emma and what this would do to her and I also thought about how our lives would change forever ( at that time I thought it would change for the worse). After researching day and night and reaching out to LP and POLP I decided to never look back. If we were going to survive as a family unit we would have to get through this together. I can't even begin to tell u how much these blogs help me. I look at my blog and all the other blogs each and every day. Let's face it we all know how each other feels and we all have our good days and bad ones. In reality, that's how life is. It's a giant roller coaster! Lyla is only six months old and I think I am the newest member of the LPA. She hasn't had any problems yet however, I know they are coming. The bottom line is, is that we all want what's best for our children and as hard as it may get sometimes I know 100% that I would much rather have Lyla than not have her. I have several friends who have lost there children to more severe birth defects and childhood cancer. You wouldn't even imagine the hell they are in. I always put myself into perspective by saying things can always be worse. Achondroplasia....we can handle this.....you can handle this....Jalinn and Lyla....they can handle this. There are so many Achons who have the typical Achon medical issues and some who have more or less. The most important thing is, is that our daughters can and will live productive lives. We as parents will make sure of that. The beginning may be rough but everything always works out in the end. I got your back Always!!! Xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteI'm telling you as the girl with one of the older kids, that there will come a day you don't even think about dwarfism. You just don't even care. I actually love that Preston is still tiny. I think that I may write a blog about it for you guys who are new parents. It's going to get easier. I promise you that. I thank God every day for PReston because I wouldn't have the friends I have without him!!! xoxo!
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